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On: October 29, 2024
Christian Help for Mom Rage
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It’s what keeps you up at night, thinking, this is how they will remember me – an angry mom. A rage-filled mom. A mean mom.
You feel overworked, overstimulated and overwhelmed.
Your days feel like drudgery.
I have the best news for you, mama. There IS a way out.
I have a theory about mom rage.
I believe much (not all) but much of what causes mom rage can be summed up in 2 words: anxiety and confusion.
Hear me out…
Here’s the situation: your infant is crying, but why? Are they hungry? In pain? Tired?, uh-oh, you’re burning dinner, oh great, and your toddler is doing something he knows he’s not supposed to.
What to do? Do you go after the baby or toddler? Or the dinner? Cue confusion. Cue anxiety. Now cue rage.
Here’s another situation: your infant needs to nurse, your younger toddler needs to wake up from their first nap so the schedule isn’t thrown off and your older toddler just broke a bunch of glass.
Do you go after the baby, or one of the other two?
Cue confusion. Cue anxiety. Now cue rage.
You get the idea. All moms go through this. Some moms have tools to move through the anxiety, while others don’t… yet.
What if you had tools to give you grace under pressure? How might that make your days go smoother? Maybe you would be more proud of how you’re able to parent your children even under stressful situations.
In my course I teach you how to calm your nervous system so you don’t start the day stressed then boil over when life inevitably gets even more stressful.
But let’s discuss what’s happening here from a Christian perspective.
Satan is the author of confusion and the father of lies. He will have you second guessing your every move as a mother and tell you lies about how you always make the wrong choice in these situation.
If you believe him, you will begin to spiral. Does any of this relate to you? Do you often get triggered into a fit of rage?
I know the feeling of lying awake at night plagued by the guilt of how I had treated my family that day.
I used to pray that they don’t remember the bad times or my mistakes…but I’ll tell you what…
Now I pray that the Lord uses those times, and perhaps even memories as a way for me to teach my children how to be a better parent to my future grandchildren.
Motherhood is learning that it’s harder to regulate your own nervous system than it is to teach your children to regulate theirs. Once I learned how to do this, I became a much more patient and joyful mother (and wife, BTW).
But when times were bad, I pleaded for the Lord to carve out those memories from my family’s brain. Now I know that He can use even those memories as a way for me to shape and disciple my children. To change the course of their own parenting.
So here is some help from the Word on what we can do about mom rage.
First, trust God’s Word
1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
God always provides a way out. Even with all your past trauma. we don’t *have to* sin.. the Lord makes a way of escape for us every single time.
When you feel you temper rising, your face getting red, heart pounding, fists clenching, anger, pray to God and say “Lord, please show me a way out.”
Second, His word is powerful!
LIVING & ACTIVE it is sharper than a two edged sword. Use it to fight this battle with your flesh! Armor up, get real about your sin, fight it like it’s coming after your precious child to devour him.. because it is! We would die for our children.. so put to death your flesh that rises up against him! Start by memorizing scripture so in these moments of rage, you can draw on memory to bring yourself back to present awareness and out of fight/flight and use it as your weapon against the enemy who so badly wants you to wound your children.
Here are a few verses I love to have memorized for mom rage:
“When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” (Proverbs 31:26)
I love this one because it’s a reminder that you aren’t her. You aren’t that angry mom, or that grouchy wife. God made you to be wise and kind – THAT is who you are. It’s not too late to embody this woman. Satan would have you think that you’ve gone too far, or that you can’t change now because it would seem disingenuous. But that’s a lie.
“Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.” (Proverbs 29:11)
This one is a convicting one. Nobody wants to be a fool. And we all know how it feels to give full vent to our anger. You just let it rip, right? But this is destructive and only ignites the situation. You have the power to bring calm in the end. So that’s what I love about this verse is that it not only convicts and makes me think about who I DON’T want to be, but it also shows me the picture of the type of situation I CAN create in the end – a calm one.
“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
I love this one because it reminds me of the mother and wife I want to be – soft and gentle. I want my children to remember me as soft and gentle, not rough around the edges. Also it reminds me that I will be much more effective if I do use a soft tone with my family.
I hope this biblical support is exactly what you need to help with your mom rage. If you feel the lord guiding you to my course for help please check it out here.
Kyrie Luke
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