Why 81% of Christian Moms Feel Burned Out — And What to Do About It

I came across a survey recently that stopped me cold.
It was from Barna, Lifeway, and the National Women’s Ministry Association—some of the largest voices in Christian research.
They asked thousands of Christian moms across America a simple question:
Have you ever experienced burnout in motherhood?
81% said yes.

Eighty-one percent of women trying to follow Jesus, love their families, and raise their children in the faith… are barely making it.
And the answers they gave about why they were burning out? They weren’t just about doing too much.
They were about what they believed.
What they believed motherhood should feel like.
What they believed about themselves.
And what they believed about God.

And that’s what shook me—
Because their answers used to be mine.
Today I’m going to show you how to fix both.

This is not theory. This is what got me out of survival mode—after years of waking up angry, overstimulated, constantly yelling, and drowning in shame.
It changed everything.

Christian moms often believe that if you’re tired, you’re doing it right. That if you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and burnt out… it just means you’re being faithful and living out that sacrificial calling you ought to.

But what if the heaviness you’re feeling isn’t just about the housework?
What if it’s coming from something deeper… like carrying a spiritual burden God never asked you to carry alone?

The Pain of Carrying It Alone

From the survey, 78% of Christian moms said they were stressed about keeping up with the work of the home.
But what was more chilling to me is that 59% were stressed about discipling their children.

Whoa.
That number hit me hard. And here’s the thing—
A majority of those moms also said they felt they carried the primary burden of bringing this mission to life in raising their children.
I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

I think there’s a direct correlation between moms who feel like they’re failing at discipling their children and moms who feel like they’re doing it alone.

A Gentle Suggestion for Married Moms

Now, lest you think I’m about to start ragging on the dads—
I’m not.
But I do want to gently offer a practical suggestion, especially if you’ve ever felt this too: like the weight of spiritual leadership in your home is falling squarely on your shoulders.

Let’s say you’re overwhelmed trying to choose a curriculum for your homeschool this year…
Or you’re wrestling with whether to send your kids to public school, private school, or homeschool at all.
Ask your husband.

As the spiritual leader of your home—and since you’re likely trying to give your children a Christ-centered education—bring him into the decision. Ask him what he thinks. Invite him to do some of the research.
You don’t have to carry the weight of a decision like this alone.

Doing this shows honor to your husband and removes some of the mental load from your own shoulders. It’s a win-win.
This is just one example. There are so many ways this can look in a marriage.

But the heart behind it is simple:
Ask your husband for his input.
Ask for his advice.
Genuinely consider what he says.

Our men love to be our heroes.
They are problem-solvers by nature. They want to help us.
So invite him in—not with a tone of frustration or exhaustion, but with a heart of honor, humility, and hope.
And I think you’ll be surprised by how much lighter your load feels when you stop carrying the mental burden alone.

For Those With Unbelieving Husbands

Now, I know some of you are married to non-believing husbands. And truly, my heart goes out to you. That is a real cross to bear, and I can only imagine the uphill climb it must feel like.
But remember this: the Lord has not made a mistake in placing you in this marriage. He sees you. He is with you. And He is using you.

As 1 Peter says, maybe it will be your conduct that plants the seeds of truth and wins your husband over to the faith.

So when you feel the weight of discouragement…
When your husband isn’t leading spiritually in the ways you long for…
Remember:
You can still honor the role God has given him—
You can still invite him into leadership, even if it feels awkward or imperfect.
It’s not all on your shoulders.

Let the Lord carry you—
And don’t be afraid to let your husband carry a little more too.

When we try to be both the nurturer and the leader…
The teacher and the shepherd…
The one who cares and the one who carries—
It’s no wonder we feel burned out.

The Martyrdom Mindset Isn’t Noble—It’s Numbing

Somewhere along the way, we started believing that the more we suffer, the more godly we must be.
That if we’re constantly sacrificing ourselves—our time, our rest, our joy—then surely we’re being good mothers.

But there’s a fine line between Christ-like sacrifice… and silent martyrdom.
One leads to life.
The other leads to burnout.

There’s this image of the ideal Christian mom that is ever-cheerful, perfectly disciplined, constantly pouring out…
And yet, have you ever found yourself snapping at your kids before breakfast even hits the table and overstimulated before the day has even really begun?

You’re not crazy.
You’re not ungrateful.
Your body is just stuck in fight-or-flight.

What Burnout Really Looks Like

I’ve heard so many moms say, “It’s just a season,” as they quietly burn out behind a smile.
They wear their exhaustion like a badge of honor.
No help. No boundaries. No joy.

But that’s not necessarily biblical motherhood.
Yes, Jesus calls us to lay down our lives—but not to neglect the life He’s put in us.

There’s a difference between laying your life down in love… and living in a constant state of depletion because you believe you’re not allowed to rest.

The Fix – Habits That Changed Everything

So how do we get out of this mindset in motherhood, knowing that motherhood does require sacrifice, and does require so much of us and does in fact, require us to take up our cross daily?
How can we strike that balance?

First, we need to focus on Romans 5:3–5 which says we can glory in tribulations, because of what they produce: character, endurance, and hope.
And John 1:16 which reminds us that—
For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.
Grace upon grace.
How freeing.

So here’s how I embraced that grace, and made some real change in myself and my home—
I found the balance between sacrificial love and taking care of myself.

I Renewed My Mind

You’ve heard that renewing your mind is important.
But are you actually doing it?

I thought I was. I read my Bible, I prayed.
But my thoughts were still spiraling with stress, fear, frustration and annoyance.
The thorn in my side as Paul talks about was my own thoughts.

So I got serious. I started interrupting thoughts like:
“My kids are so annoying; I can’t get anything done.”
And I replaced them with:
“My kids are giving me an opportunity to disciple them. That’s my top priority.”
“My children are never an interruption—they ARE my purpose.”

Renewing your mind means replacing lies with truth.
Not just reading the Bible—but applying it to the battlefield of your thoughts.

And you know what happened?
My default thoughts started changing.
My go-to destructive responses were being rewired, and my relationships were being redeemed.

I Weaved Pockets of Regulation Throughout My Day

If you’re ignoring your body’s need for rest, your nervous system is going to let you know.

I had no idea that I had something called nervous system dysfunction until I actually learned what it was and was blown away about how this is exactly what I was experiencing.

I learned that the outbursts I had to minor stressors…
…my chronic fatigue, brain fog, insomnia, autoimmune issues—
All tied back to one thing:
My body was chronically dysregulated.
I was living in a state of panic and didn’t even know it.

So I made it a priority to weave pockets of regulation throughout my day.
Not bubble baths or vague self-care—but real, intentional ways to tell my brain: you’re safe.

I Stopped Focusing So Much on the Pain

It feels productive to analyze your struggle.
But what if it’s actually telling your brain to increase the pain and symptoms?

I used to obsess over every symptom.
Fatigue. Irritability. Overwhelm.
The more I focused on them, the worse they got.

Take insomnia, for example.
You can’t stress your way into sleep.

What works?
Shifting your focus.
The moment you stop hyper-focusing on the symptom, your brain begins to calm down.

The same is true for other symptoms too.

The Turning Point

Instead of spiraling, I began celebrating even tiny progress really intentionally through a wins and praises journal that I kept.
When I would feel symptoms pop up, I’d focus on these wins.

Even small things like:

• I didn’t yell when I spilled something.
• I actually wanted to play with my kids today.

And slowly, my body started to heal.
I started feeling like myself again:

• My energy came back
• My irritability disappeared
• I started experiencing true joy again

My kids felt like blessings again.
Even my husband noticed and praised me.
And most importantly—I was finally free from the cycle of overstimulation and anger that had defined my days for so long.

If you need help finding freedom from this cycle, join my free workshop. I’m so glad you are here.