Is it Mom Rage or Something Else? 4 Tips for the Angry Homemaker 

If you’re someone who experiences mom rage, or feel like you’re an angry mom, then I have help for you. 

Over the years I’ve had my own major transformation in my homemaking, going from overstimulated, highly sensitive and chronically stressed to cool, calm, collected and unbelievably fulfilled. Now I help other homemakers have their own transformations.

First, I’m going to explain what mom rage is. 

Then, I’ll tell you what usually causes mom rage. 

Finally, I’ll give you 4 tips to combat mom rage. 

What is mom rage?

If you’re asking yourself this question then you probably don’t experience it, or haven’t experienced it yet. If you do experience mom rage, I don’t even need to give an explanation. You’ve lived it out – and for that, I’m so so sorry because as someone who has experienced this herself, I know how dreadful it can be. 

Real quick though, the blog Poppy therapy describes mom rage as “That seething, hot, unrestrained, explosive anger that shows up sometimes at even the smallest things. 

These angry outbursts in response to daily life make many moms feel they aren’t doing a good job parenting their child or like something is wrong with them.” 

Further, they describe the feeling of mom rage as “difficult to control – it’s intense and explosive, making you want to throw something or scream. 

You might have outbursts or irritable responses that are out of character for you. It’s usually not a one time thing, but more like a constant feeling of simmering anger under the surface, making you feel on edge, annoyed, and at risk for yelling or snapping at your child, family, or partner. You might even feel surprised and frightened by the strength of your anger at times.” 

I don’t know about you but the descriptions that resonated with me the most were…

• makes moms feel like something is wrong with them
• constant feeling of simmering anger under the surface 
• and the biggest one for me… 
• surprised or frightened by the strength of your anger at times. 

What causes mom rage?

Whether you’re looking at a blog post, youtube video, listening to a therapist, mentor or counselor… or wherever else you’re turning to for help with your mom rage, you’ll likely hear that mom rage is due to…

• unmet needs or expectations, 
• or a lack of self-control, 
• or that you’re burdened by too much mental load, 
• you’re overstimulated, 
• PPD
• or a whole slough of other reasons that may or may not actually be contributing to your mom rage. 

But I’m here to tell you that there is a deeper reason you experience this uncontrollable rage. 

You aren’t just an angry person. You don’t simply need more self-control. 

…and you can totally handle the mental load of this role. What you’re actually experiencing is a chronic state of limbic system impairment. 

Or chronic fight or flight mode which, in turn, makes these triggers you’re experiencing signal to your brain that you’re in real danger and you need to REACT in a destructive manner. 

These are learned behaviors that developed over time and for a reason that your brain deems necessary for survival. however, they are no longer necessary and are what I call in my course Old Destructive Patterns or ODPs. 

How does limbic system impairment happen?

The limbic system is the part of the brain involved in our behavioral and emotional responses, especially when it comes to behaviors we need for survival: feeding, reproduction and caring for our young, and fight or flight responses. 

Your limbic system becomes over-reactive, creating stress responses as a mechanism to protect yourself.

This often occurs subconsciously, so we do not even have time to think about the reaction with our rational brain. 

Does any of this sound familiar? I remember times when I would react to something and I’d think to myself afterwards “there is NO WAY I could have exercised self-control in that moment! I had zero time to even think about how to respond!” 

Sometimes, our limbic system tries to protect us from the past, like a past emotional trauma, injury, or infection. 

The limbic system is also trying to control our future experiences. Your limbic system is just trying to protect you; however, in doing so, it often creates a chronic stress response which has many symptoms associated which we will go into now. 

What symptoms do you get with a chronic stress response or impaired limbic system? 

An impaired limbic system causes autonomic nervous system dysfunction which can cause all kinds of issues throughout the body which seem unrelated but are caused by the impaired limbic system. 

• Anxiety, panic and mood swings, Autoimmune disease, Brain Fog, 
• Chemical, light, smell and EMF sensitivity, 
• Difficulty with healing injuries., 
• Difficulty with processing pain, Digestive Issues, Food sensitivities, 
• Immune disregulation like the Inability to effectively fight an infection and the list goes on. 

Ok, so that sounds terrifying and depressing, right? But I have a battle plan for you and I’m going to give you 4 tips to combat mom rage so you never have to hear “mama, why are you so angry?” Or anything of the sort coming out of the sweet mouths of your little blessings. 

4 tips for combatting mom rage

Ok, so that sounds terrifying and depressing, right? But I have a battle plan for you and I’m going to give you 4 tips to combat mom rage so you never have to hear “mama, why are you so angry?” Or anything of the sort coming out of the sweet mouths of your little blessings. 

Tip #1 to quit mom rage

The 1st tip is to think about how you would parent if Jesus were right there with you, or one of your friends. Just go about your day imagining you had Jesus right there with you, or a good friend – someone who you really admire their parenting is even better. 

This is a little thought experiment which helps to renew your mind into right thinking and acting. 

Tip #2 to combat mom rage

The 2nd tip is to connect with your children more. The more I pour into my children, the harder it is to be angry at them. 

To do this, i like to dance with them. We turn bible songs up really loud, get on the coffee table and dance like crazy. We jump around, sing along, I swing them and we just have a good time. 

Something else I do is if I have a particularly whiney or disobedient child, I will draw them nearer to me which is the opposite of what the flesh wants to do which is to seclude them from the rest of the family. 

But I will actually take the child, put them up on the counter while I cook, or have them help me with the cleaning, or sit with me while I do quiet time, and connect with them. 

This fills their little cup and they will become a new child within no time and I feel more connected to them too which makes me less angry at them and I can relate to them more easily…

because lets face it… we can all tend to be whiney and disobedient at times. 

Tip #3 to stop mom rage

The 3rd tip is to create more margin in your day so you can slow down. 

This is related to the previous tip because in order to connect with your children, you need to slow down and actually have that margin in your day. 

When we are constantly rushing around we are actually putting our brain into a frantic state which, in turn, makes us more easily triggered and angry. 

So, slow down and take the time to disciple your children the way God intended. 

Tip #4 to end mom rage

My 4th and final tip to combat mom rage is, of course, to address the deeper issue which is to heal the impaired limbic system. I help homemakers do this through Christian brain rewiring practices. 

I know the above tips can honestly seem impossible when you’re in a fight/flight state and experiencing mom rage. But there is a way to alleviate yourself from these gut reactions.

 I know from personal experience how difficult it can be to just let go of anger. But what if there was a way to make sure you just don’t have a propensity to anger? What if you could rewire the anger out of your brain? Thats what I teach in my course. 

In My course, The Transformed Homemakers Society, I use Christian brain rewiring and home management systems to transform your homemaking from drudgery to perfect peace. 

I provide you with a Christian brain rewiring formula, simplified homemaking rhythms, help you create your own family vision, culture and unique homemaker qualities, and so much more.

Homemaker Homework

So your homemaker homework is to write down three ways you plan to connect more with your children this week and plug these connection points into your planner so you actually do them. 

See how this changes the tone of your home already! My last little note is that children are so forgiving and God gives us his new mercies every morning. 

We serve a God of redemption and I know He will use this trial to redeem your relationship with your children – I know because He has done this for me. 

If you feel the Lord leading you to a transformation with my help, I hope that you consider taking my free workshop. It’s my five step framework for overwhelmed and overworked homemakers.