6 Important Homemaking Secrets I Wish I Knew Sooner

Hey homemakers, my name is Kyrie with the Transformed Homemakers Society and my mission is to help homemakers go from overstimulation and chronic stress to a peaceful and thriving home so that they can serve their families and the Lord.

Over the years I’ve had my own major transformation in my homemaking, going from overstimulated, highly sensitive and chronically stressed to cool, calm, collected and unbelievably fulfilled in my role.

Now I help other homemakers have their own transformations. If you’re interested in working with me then please check out my free workshop.

Today we are talking about my top 6 secrets of homemaking I wish I knew prior to starting this role, and that have profoundly impacted my life as well as my families lives. 

These secrets are the ones I will be training my daughter on as she is being pruned to live out her God-given calling – whenever or whatever that may be. 

Important homemaking secrets

As I go through these secrets of homemaking, I will first tell you what the secret is, then I’ll give a little explanation on how this applies to your homemaking, then I’ll give practical action steps on how to live it out in your own homemaking. 

Homemaking Secret #1

The first secret of homemaking I wish I knew sooner was how important it is to control your thoughts and renew your mind. 

Thoughts determine feelings and feelings determine actions. Therefore, thoughts can really control your actions in positive or negative ways. 

So its important that you become a master of your thoughts and not the other way around. As a Christian, I help to renew my mind with Christ and with the Truth that is in the Word of God. 

When it comes to your homemaking, there are all kinds of things that can make you spiral into negative thinking patterns. Don’t be fooled that since you don’t have to deal with a ton of coworkers that you have it easier. In fact, the people you do work with on a daily basis are the MOST important ones in your life – your family!

So if they’re doing something that you’re frustrated or triggered about, it’s even MORE important that you renew your mind on the matter. 

But there are so many other ways homemaking can be an opportunity to control your thoughts. 

For example, do you have bad thinking around the laundry? Dishes? Cooking? or any other part of your role? 

Do you have to do something that you don’t feel shouldn’t be your responsibility? Are you having a difficult time submitting to your husband? All are opportunities to renew your mind. 

Practical tips

Practically, you can live this out by being in the Word everyday. Committing to this time with the Lord to fill your mind with Truth will be your armor against the schemes of the devil. Ephesians 6:11 says “put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.”

Another thing you can do is to memorize bible verses. i can’t tell you how profound this practice has been for me. I used to have such a resistance to bible memory until I started doing it and realized how memorizing scripture was LITERALLY transforming my brain. When I memorize scripture, I go from being prone to negative thinking, to having a propensity to positivity. 

Lastly, I practically live this out by taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. This is a practice that you get better at over time, but if you catch yourself spiraling into negative thinking, you MUST take that thought captive and switch your thinking. 

Sometimes to do this I’ll literally say NOPE and clap my hands which sort of abruptly interrupts the thought and it’s easier to get out of the negative thinking pattern. 

Homemaking Secret #2

In secret number 1 I mentioned that thoughts lead to feelings, so naturally, my second secret has to do with your emotions. 

My second secret of homemaking I wish i new sooner is how vital it is to not be a slave to your emotions. 

I wish I knew before how important it is to not let my emotions control my behaviors. 

In homemaking, everything is so new. marriage, living with someone, having babies, keeping a home – all may be totally new to you! Especially if you’re doing things in the way God designed then for sure all these things are brand new to you! 

Many of these things can spark emotions in you that you never knew you even had. 

For example, your new baby crying may elicit a visceral response in you that sparks your fight or flight response. you may feel and/or react in ways you’re confused about. 

Perhaps your husband treats you in a way that you don’t like and makes you feel certain emotions. Maybe you’re dealing with outside relationships that you’ve never had to navigate before. Or maybe there are financial burdens that feel insurmountable – like you’re being suffocated by the pressure. 

All of these emotions can feel utterly impossible to control. But with the Lords help, it’s totally possible. 

In Genesis 4:7 God tells Cain  “If you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”

Practical tips

To help you, God tells us what we should do in James 1:5-8 when he says: 

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.“

So we ask for wisdom in these moments of panic, stress, or anger and the Lord promises to deliver. 

Next, we need to understand that most negative emotions come from fear and fear is not of the Lord. Paul tells us in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”

So what to do? Take these emotions as an invitation to draw near to God. and to trust Him to handle the situation. Let Him take care of it and trust that He will work all things for good for you. Find comfort in Romans 8:28 which says  “and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” 

Lastly, we can master our emotions by being aware of them, and aware of what our triggers are, then learning to control those triggers. Which leads me into secret # 3. 

Homemaking Secret #3

Thoughts lead to emotions, emotions lead to behaviors. So now I’m going to discuss the 3rd secret which has to do with controlling your behaviors. 

The third secret of homemaking is how to rewire your brain for Christ. By now you’re probably wondering how to not let your thoughts and emotions control your actions. You’re probably thinking “ok this is all great but how do I do this?”

The Lord has many ways of helping people with this, but He has helped me by using Christian Brain rewiring. 

practical tips

By rewiring my brain, I was able to not only literally change the way my brain thinks, but also change my emotions around certain triggers. 

Then, I learned tools for reacting in different, more healthy ways. In my course, the Transformed Homemakers Society, I created a christian brain rewiring formula which walks you through step-by-step how to do this yourself. 

Put simply, rewiring your brain for Christ can take you from a state of fight or flight to living with the peace of the Lord. It’s how I’ve transformed my own homemaking, taken my thoughts captive, rule over my emotions, and it’s what ultimately dictates my behaviors.

To practically live out my practice of Christian brain rewiring, I intentionally weave pockets of regulation throughout my days. I do this using several techniques that I provide in my course. 

A couple examples of these are visualizations and christian meditations. I’m basically taking the time to calm my nervous system down, and train my body and brain into right-thinking and acting. 

I’ll take certain scenarios and wire different responses into my brain which helps me to actually live this out next time I’m faced with this scenario. 

Homemaking Secret #4

These next 3 secrets of homemaking are big-picture secrets having to do with looking beyond the right here and right now of your homemaking journey. 

The 4th secret of homemaking I wish I knew sooner is that there is a season for everything. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” I love this verse!

I heard a an older Christian mother say once that no season will ever last – whether it be a bad season or a good season. And this is meant to not just bring comfort, but also perspective and encouragement to fully embrace each season. 

So whether you’re in a season where your babies aren’t sleeping through the night, or clingy toddlers who won’t let you cook dinner, nursing struggles that seem impossible, laundry that can never be caught up, marital strife, or any other number of homemaking struggles – it won’t last. 

Further, if you are in a season of just simply coasting and seem like you have everything running like a well-oiled machine – don’t be surprised when a trial comes your way. 1 Peter 4:12 says “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.”

practical tips

So how can we, as homemakers, practically live this out? Well, for one, we can be grateful for everything the Lord has given us – including the trials. 1 Peter 4 continues in verse 13 to say “But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” 

So we rejoice in our trials. 

Homemaking Secret #5

The 5th secret of homemaking I wish I knew sooner is how God will use this role to refine me from the inside out. There is clearly a reason God calls us women into this role. Its refining, life-changing, and makes us more like Jesus. 

God uses many ways to refine us, but homemaking is the way in which he has refined me the most and I’m confident that He is doing the same for you too. 

I am positive, that in this very moment, with whatever you’re going through in your homemaking right now, the Lord is using this to shape you into someone who is more like Jesus. 

In Philippians 1:6 Paul says “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

practical tips

So what can we do to embrace this as homemakers? We can be open to conviction and be open to training and correction from other Christians who’re further along in their journey. 

And we can spend more quiet time with the Lord – read his word, pray, get out into His creation and just talk to Him. 

Homemaking Secret #6

The final secret to homemaking I wish i knew sooner is how much I control the tone of the home as the mother. Now, this can 100% be said, too, of the father. But as a mother speaking to other mothers, that’s who I’m going to focus on. 

If you’re in a good mood and have the joy of the Lord – this will reflect onto your entire family. The opposite can be true too. If you aren’t walking in the fruit of the spirit, your family will suffer. 

practical tips

So what can you do? Well I’ll tell you what I do… 

• I’m weird and I make weird songs and sing and dance to them. I’ll spare you examples. 
• I play bible songs and sing them in strange voices. 
• I use joyful tones when I speak to my family.
• I smile at them when they walk into a room. 
• I say, yes love? or other terms of endearment to answer when I hear mama mama mama. instead of whaaaaat?
• I am present and engaged with my family. I put my phone away and have times for work, times for rest and times for connection with my family. 
• I basically just try to set my best example for how I want everyone else to act. 
• Also, by implementing all the practical steps I listed before, you will help to set the tone of your home to be spirit-filled. 

Transformed Homemaker

I’m here to help you too. That’s why I created this platform and the Lord is leading me to help homemakers go from overstimulation and chronic stress.

So if you feel the Lord guiding you to using me as a source of help for your own homemaking, I hope that you’d consider taking my free workshop – it’s my five step framework for overwhelmed and overworked homemakers.

Homemaker Homework

What resonated most to you today? Let me know in the comments below. 

And Your homemaker homework for today is to memorize one of the bible verses I referenced in this video. You choose which one is most relevant to you. Ephesians 6:11; Genesis 4:7; James 1:5-8; 2 Timothy 1:7; Romans 8:28; Ecclesiastes 3:1; 1 Peter 4:12 and 13; or Philippians 1:6.