Have you ever stopped to think about how your laziness might not actually be laziness at all—but a sign of something deeper?

What if your inability to do the basic things—like folding laundry or cooking dinner—is actually a sign that your nervous system is exhausted… and stuck in a survival response that no amount of productivity can fix?

In this post, I want to show you why “trying harder” isn’t the answer to laziness as a homemaker, and what you can do today to actually become the productive homemaker you long to be.

Whether you struggle with laziness, or even if you’re the kind of person who is highly productive—maybe to a fault—this is for you.

When Productivity Hits a Wall

I’ve always been driven. Very productive. A list-maker. A doer you might say.

But even with all that, I would sometimes find myself staring at a messy kitchen—or a pile of unfolded laundry—and feel completely frozen. I wanted to do it. I hated the mess. But something inside me just…shut down.

I can think of several times the kitchen would be so out of hand and feeling completely paralyzed. I’d ask my husband, can you please do this? It’s too overwhelming for me and I don’t even know where to start. Of course, he’s amazing and tackled the job with ease. But why did I feel so frozen with such a basic task?

Like—what’s wrong with me? I’m disciplined. I get things done. Why couldn’t I do this? Just start with one thing and keep going—easy, right?

It’s Not a Character Flaw—It’s a Nervous System Cry for Help

What I didn’t know at the time is that this wasn’t a character flaw or just a lack of discipline.
It was a sign that my nervous system was dysregulated.

I get comments all the time about women who are in this freeze state—they struggle to do basic homemaking tasks and feel so ashamed.
That “shut down” feeling isn’t necessarily sinful laziness—it’s your body’s way of protecting you after too much stress, too much chaos, for too long.

And keep in mind that the freeze response doesn’t always look like lying on the couch all day.
Sometimes it looks like a high-functioning, Type A woman who goes in and out of grinding too hard for too long, then becoming burnt out and shutting down.

Eventually, if you don’t intentionally do it, your nervous system will force you to slow down—even if it has to do it through shutdown, dread, and emotional numbness.

When your nervous system is dysregulated, even simple tasks like washing dishes can feel like climbing a mountain.

This isn’t a discipline issue. It’s a healing issue.

But don’t get me wrong, slothfulness is real, and the Bible is clear that it’s a sin. God calls us to diligence, stewardship, and faithfulness in all things—the work of the home is no exception.

But many Christian women are mislabeling their suffering as sin.
It’s not rebellion—it’s burnout.
It’s not defiance—it’s deep depletion.

And our God is so faithful. He doesn’t shout “Try harder!” to the weary homemaker.
He invites us to come to Him and rest.
To be renewed.
To be transformed—not just in our behavior, but in our minds and bodies too.

Yes, we’re called to live lives of discipline—but when your body and brain are dysregulated, the answer isn’t more shame.

The answer is healing. Rooted in Christ. Empowered by the Holy Spirit.

Because from a healed place, diligence becomes possible again—not as a burden, but as a joy.

The Path to Healing and Joyful Homemaking

There was a time when I would wake up dreading each day.
I’d count the hours until bedtime.
My children’s laughter felt like nails on a chalkboard, and any touch made my skin crawl.

I was hypersensitive. Hypervigilant. I just wanted to escape.
I didn’t love homemaking—not because I didn’t want to—actually I wanted nothing more than to love my role—but I was drowning.

And the weirdest thing is that I didn’t have more to do than the next homemaker. In fact, probably even less. It’s just that what was on my plate seemed unbearable and overwhelming.

That’s when I started using a biblical process—something that helped my body feel safe again, get out of fight or flight mode, and renewed my mind which changed me from the inside out.

It’s now the heart of what I teach inside the Transformed Homemaker Society, and I’d love for you to join me in my free workshop where I teach you the 5 steps I took to heal my nervous system and completely transform my home.

I stopped trying to fix myself with hustle, supplements, or strict routines—and started gently rewiring my brain with truth and compassion.

In less than 30 days, I was no longer in fight or flight mode.

I could breathe again.

I could think clearly.

Understanding the Freeze Response

So you know that heavy, stuck feeling?
The inability to do things you know you care about and you know would be good for you, your home, and your family?

It might just be a nervous system in freeze mode—a state of internal shutdown after being stuck in stress for too long.

We usually hear about “fight or flight”—that rush of adrenaline, that frantic, agitated energy.
But there’s another stress response—and it looks a lot like laziness.

It might feel like:

• Staring at the dishes and feeling paralyzed
• Wanting to care, but feeling numb
• Being surrounded by chaos, yet unable to move
• Feeling exhausted no matter how much you sleep
• Knowing you should get up and do something while your body refuses to cooperate

This is a freeze response—not a failure of character—it’s a sign your nervous system has been in overdrive for too long.

And here’s where it gets deeper:
Many Christian homemakers are high-functioning. Productive. Capable.

But even women who are “Type A” or used to doing it all can hit this wall—because your brain wasn’t made to live in chronic stress, even if you can push through for a while.

Eventually, that pushing turns into paralysis.
Not because you’re weak… but because you’re human.

Practical First Steps to Begin Healing

1. Start Noticing Your Body’s Warning Signs

Pay attention to what’s happening in your body.
Do you feel frozen? Foggy? Heavy, like you’re moving through molasses just to do basic tasks?

These are often signs that your nervous system is stuck in freeze mode—a protective state your body enters when it feels overwhelmed, unsafe, or completely depleted.
And when you’re in freeze, no amount of “pushing through” is going to work.

You don’t need to force it—you need to calm your body and let it know you’re safe.

Start with this:

• Take a deep breath.
• Soften your shoulders.
• Unclench your jaw.
• Wiggle your fingers and toes.
• Say a prayer.

It may feel simple or even silly, but these small, gentle actions send a powerful message to your brain:
“I’m okay. I’m not in danger. I’m safe now.”

This is how you begin to come out of survival mode—not by doing more, but by becoming aware.

2. Remove Any Stumbling Blocks That Enable Your State of ‘Freeze’

When you’re stuck in freeze mode, your brain will instinctively look for ways to numb out—to escape the discomfort without actually resolving it.

And often, we unknowingly keep ourselves trapped by reaching for things that feel like relief but actually deepen the cycle.

For most of us, the biggest culprit is our phone.

It offers instant distraction, endless stimulation, and the illusion of connection.

If your phone is making it harder to move, think clearly, or be present, it’s time to set firm boundaries.

Here’s a rhythm I like to use when my phone becomes a stumbling block:
“Visiting hours.”
One hour in the morning and one hour in the evening where I check in, reply to messages, scroll if I want to, and catch up on anything important.

Outside of those hours? The phone is put away—either in a drawer, on Do Not Disturb, or even locked in the car if I need to reset.

Your stumbling block may not be your phone.
It could be constant noise, unhealthy habits, overcommitted schedules, cluttered spaces, or even too much pressure from unrealistic expectations.

Take time to prayerfully ask the Lord to show you what’s keeping you stuck.
Then set healthy boundaries as an act of loving stewardship over your mind, your home, and your heart.

3. Stop Calling Yourself Lazy

When you repeatedly call yourself lazy, disorganized, or undisciplined, you’re not just describing your struggle—you’re agreeing with shame.

And as Christians, we are not called to live under shame.

Romans 8:1 says,

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Shame doesn’t produce fruit—it actually just perpetuates the issue and reinforces the freeze.

Instead of harsh self-talk, speak to yourself with the same gentleness you’d show your child.

Try this:

“You’re not lazy. You’re tired. There’s work to do, yes—but we can take it one thing at a time. We don’t have to rush.”

Or:

“This doesn’t define me. I’m being renewed. God gives us new mercies every morning.”

This is not about ignoring sin—it’s about rightly discerning the difference between sin and suffering.

Jesus doesn’t stand over you with a wagging finger.
He kneels beside you, lifts your chin, and says,

“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Let that voice be the one you follow today.

4. Give Yourself 2 Important Tasks to Get Done in One Day

If you’re constantly swinging between hyper-productivity and total burnout, you’re not alone.

Many homemakers find themselves caught in this cycle:
They push hard for a day—cleaning everything, doing all the laundry, prepping a bunch of food, organizing closets—only to crash the next day (or the next week) in complete exhaustion.
And then the shame sets in.

This pattern is a sign your nervous system is operating in survival mode.

Your body is trying to protect you from chronic overwhelm by shutting down after periods of overexertion.

Instead of trying to “catch up” or “do it all,” try this:

Choose just two important tasks each day.

These aren’t random chores—they’re the two things that will make the biggest difference in your home or peace of mind that day.

Maybe it’s making a homemade meal and vacuuming the living room.
Maybe it’s folding one load of laundry and cleaning the bathroom sink.

Just two.

Here’s why this works:

• It gives your brain a clear focus without triggering that freeze response.
• It helps you build consistency instead of reacting to chaos.
• It allows you to finish your day with a sense of victory, not defeat.

If you get more done—great. But if you don’t? You still won.

You’re building trust with yourself—healing in a sustainable way—and most importantly, you’re learning to steward your energy with wisdom instead of guilt.

Proverbs 4:26 says,

“Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.”

This is one of the ways we do that as homemakers.
We don’t sprint. We walk wisely—stewarding our energy well.

You Are Not Lazy

Please hear me when I say:
You are not lazy.
You are not broken.
And you are most certainly not beyond hope.

What you’re facing isn’t a failure of will—it’s a cry from a nervous system that’s been in survival mode for far too long.

If your heart longs for beauty and order…
If you love your family deeply but feel like you’re suffocating beneath the weight of it all…
If you wonder why something as simple as folding laundry feels impossible—

There is a way out.
There is restoration available—real, gentle, God-breathed healing that begins from the inside out.

And I want you to know this with your whole heart:
It doesn’t have to stay this way.

I’d love for you to join my free workshop using the link below.