3 Tips When You’re in the Trenches of Homemaking

I’ve found that there are three main categories that need to be worked on when a homemaker is feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, and unfulfilled in her homemaking – I’ll tell you what these are and how to address them in this post.

Tips for when you’re in the trenches of homemaking

The first is that she lacks vision for her homemaking, she hasn’t developed an intentional family culture, and perhaps she has lost some of the unique qualities that make her who she is. 

Secondly, her homemaking rhythms are either too complicated and cannot be easily adjusted based on the season of homemaking that she’s in; or, they’re underdeveloped and she’s simply flying by the seat of her pants. 

Lastly, and this one tends to be the most profound once it’s properly addressed, is that the homemaker is operating in a state of fight or flight. Her nervous system is running on overdrive and she is in a chronic state of fatigue, stress, and perhaps has chronic ailments keeping her in pain and discomfort. 

Homemakers often get into this state of chronic fight or flight from the stress and potential traumas of childbirth and new motherhood. 

The good news is that all of these areas are areas in which we can address. I created a course called the Transformed Homemakers Society which addresses each of these areas in great detail. 

You lack vision, culture, and Unique Homemaker Qualities

The first tip when you’re in the trenches of motherhood is to actually sit down and create your ideal vision for homemaking. Who do you want to be and what do you want your home to feel like? Look like? Smell like? Go into great detail about these. 

Then, develop your family culture. Sit down with your husband and decide what your main values are as a family. This will help to guide your priorities as a family too. 

Finally, remember your own qualities that make you uniquely you. God made you the homemaker for your family for a reason – you bring something unique to the table that nobody else can. Its the reason your husband fell in love with you and it’s what your children will remember about their mama when they’re grown and out of the house. Take some time to remember what these qualities are and work to embody them. 

Create Simplified Homemaking Rhythms

My next tip is to address your homemaking rhythms. Are they underdeveloped or too complicated? A good way to tell the difference is if you can’t seem to get the basics done in a day then they’re likely underdeveloped. 

However, if you’re getting everything done, but you’re stressed, overwhelmed and frantic as you go about your tasks, they’re likely just too complicated for the season of homemaking that you’re in. In either case, you need to pivot and make some changes. 

I have lots of tips for homemaking on this channel, but I go into detail in my course for how to make changes in this area too. 

One of the things that is so simple but had the most profound impact on my homemaking is by switching to a physical planner. 

I started doing this when I got rid of my smart phone for a season. Then, I never went back to planning on my phone because having a physical planner has made me so much more productive. 

I use the Plum Paper planner. I love that I can customize every aspect of this planner down to the color of the spirals, the cover, each section is my own, literally everything is customizable. 

Get out of chronic fight or flight

Lastly, if you’re overwhelmed while in the trenches of homemaking determine if you’re operating in a state of chronic fight or flight. Here’s how you’ll know… 

Do you experience frequent anxiety, panic attacks or mood swings? Do you have Autoimmune diseases, Brain Fog, Chemical, light, smell and EMF sensitivity? Difficulty with healing injuries., Difficulty with pain processing, Digestive Issues, Food sensitivities, Immune dysregulation like the Inability to effectively fight an infection. 

All of these are clues that your body is in a chronic state of fight or flight mode creating an impaired limbic system. All these symptoms seem unrelated, but are actually a result of the chronic stress on your body. 

God created us to have a fight to flight response in order to protect us from potentially life-threatening situations. Unfortunately, the body can use this same response to inappropriately react to stressors that are not life-threatening such as your child throwing food, or your husband losing his job, etc. 

So how does the body get into this vicious cycle of chronic fight or flight? Living in a chronic state of stress can put your body in a prolonged state of fight/flight. The way you perceive stressful situations can also put your body into this state. 

Most of the time the perceived stress is through no fault of the person, but there are some things people can do to mitigate unnecessary stress on their bodies which could keep them in fight or flight – for example, rumination, excessively talking about the issue, etc. 

If you do think you’re in a state of fight or flight you need to weave pockets of regulation throughout your day in order to bring down your nervous system. In my course I have an entire formula which you can copy/paste into your routine so you can help to regulate your nervous system.

One of the best ways I like to weave pockets of regulation throughout my day is by little self care activities like making a cup of coffee, or reading a book for pleasure, taking a bath, exercise, or any number of things that you find enjoyable.