10 Toxic Habits That Kept Me in Survival Mode—and How I Broke Free
I finally came to the realization one day that the exhaustion, the irritability, the chronic stress I was experiencing wasn’t just something I had to “figure out”—I had to stop reinforcing it with my own habits.
I was contributing to my own state of survival mode and didn’t even know it.
In this post, I’m going to share 10 toxic habits that kept me stuck in fight-or-flight mode and, more importantly, how I broke free. If you’re a Christian homemaker struggling with constant overwhelm, I want you to know: there is hope. Your body and mind can heal. God designed it to.
Why Moms Are Especially at Risk for Chronic Stress
Moms are especially vulnerable to living in chronic fight-or-flight mode. Studies show that the mental load of motherhood—combined with sleep deprivation, daily stressors, fluctuating hormones, and postpartum depletion—can leave us in a constant state of hypervigilance and stress.
When your nervous system is stuck in overdrive, it’s not just your mood that suffers. It affects your health, your relationships, and even your relationship with the Lord.
God created us with the fight-or-flight response to protect us in dangerous situations. But our bodies can misuse that system, reacting to minor stressors as if they’re life-threatening—and there are habits we adopt that unknowingly perpetuate this issue.
1. Harboring Bitterness and Resentment
I used to carry resentment like armor, thinking it would protect me from being walked all over. Instead, it poisoned me.
One of my course students once emailed me describing this so perfectly:
“Wouldn’t you think they would clean this up? Of course, they are going to use up all the eggs selfishly,” huff puff, moan moan, grit teeth—put away dishes noisily to draw attention to poor me having to constantly do housework.”
We’ve all been there.
Ephesians 4:31 says,
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”
Bitterness doesn’t just corrode your heart. It actually activates your stress response, leading to high blood pressure, digestive issues, anxiety, and even heart disease.
Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior. It’s about freeing yourself from the chains of resentment.
With God’s help, you can do it—and it’s something I dive deeper into in my free workshop and course (linked below).
2. Not Renewing My Mind
Your brain is wired to repeat what you feed it. The question is: What are you feeding your brain?
For years, I thought I was just an “angry person,” that peace was for women who were naturally nurturing. But then I learned about neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to change.
Romans 12:2 says,
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Negative thought patterns carve deep grooves in your brain. But when you replace them with truth, you rewire your reactions.
Try this: Say prayers of gratitude out loud throughout the day.
Examples:
- “Lord, thank You for this rain that’s making our flowers grow!”
- “Wow, God, I’m so grateful for sleeping through the night.”
- “These cookies are delicious—thank You for these little blessings!”
3. Letting Trials Get the Best of Me
I used to think trials were proof that I wasn’t cut out for motherhood.
But James 1:2–4 flipped that thinking:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials…because the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
God doesn’t waste suffering.
And science agrees: choosing perseverance strengthens your brain’s resilience pathways.
James 1:12 reminds us:
“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial…”
4. Reading the Bible to Please God or Check It Off
This one hit me hard. I used to read the Bible to:
- Please God
- Check off a to-do list item
But the Lord showed me that it’s not about that. I read His Word because: I desperately need Him.
We read to become more like Christ, not to earn favor.
You can detox your life all you want—but unless you’re spiritually nourished, burnout and anger will remain.
5. Avoiding Bible Memory
Avoiding scripture memory robbed me of one of the most powerful tools in the fight against stress and anxiety.
When you memorize Scripture, you:
- Can recall truth when you’re struggling.
- Rewire your brain with God’s Word.
Start small—memorize verses about healing, peace, or whatever you’re battling right now. Then practice recalling them in moments of stress.
6. Constantly Rushing
Are you always rushing—even when there’s no need to?
I used to do everything at warp speed. It made me more stressed, angry, and prone to breaking things (physically and emotionally). Slowing down helped me find peace.
This condition is called Hurry Sickness and includes symptoms like:
- Multitasking constantly
- Feeling perpetually behind
- Talking over others
- Always rushing through your day
Remember:
You can either rush with Satan or walk with God.
7. Multitasking Everything
I used to pride myself on multitasking—until I realized it was burning me out and making me more frantic.
Now I aim to do one thing at a time, slowly and methodically.
8. Always Seeking Stimulation
Whether it was noise, social media, podcasts, or background TV—I was always stimulating my brain.
Now? I sit in quiet more often. I watch my children play. I just exist.
There are treasures in those still moments—gifts from God we miss when we’re constantly distracted.
9. Staying Inside All Day
My husband jokingly calls me a “house cat” when I haven’t been outside.
But I’ve found that nature slows me down, soothes my spirit, and connects me with God.
Getting outside is good for your soul.
10. Scheduling Zero-Margin Days
I used to cram my to-do list with 50 tasks a day. Now? I pick one or two important things.
I’ve lowered my expectations of:
- Myself
- My children
- What “should” get done
Instead, I ask:
Am I spiritually, physically, and relationally well?
If yes, then I’m on the right track.
You’re Not Alone, and You Can Heal
If you’re living in survival mode, I want you to know: you are not broken—your body and brain are just trying to protect you.
With God’s help, you can heal.
If this post resonated with you, I’d love for you to join my free workshop or check out my course.
