How the 80/20 Rule Can Transform Your Homemaking, Parenting & Walk with God

What if I told you that 80% of your stress, exhaustion, and overwhelm comes from just 20% of what’s on your plate? And what if I told you that the same rule applies to your peace, joy, and connection with your family?

With just a few small shifts in your focus, you can get your energy back and return to joy in motherhood.

This simple principle—known as the 80/20 Rule—can completely transform how you approach homemaking, parenting, and even your walk with God. But most moms are unknowingly spending their energy in the wrong places.

So, let’s talk about how to apply this in your daily life as an exhausted stay-at-home mom—so you can stop running on empty and start thriving in your God-given role.

The Truth About Where Your Energy Is Going

I’m willing to take a bet that 80% of what you’re currently spending your time on each day is completely unproductive to what your priority should be as a Christian mother—even if you’re busy all day long.

I know because I’ve been there. I used to burn the candle at both ends, constantly cleaning, tidying, cooking, and doing all the things. I was completely exhausted and burnt out. But you know what? My family wasn’t thriving. I wasn’t thriving. And I didn’t understand why. I was busy ALL DAY.

The problem? I was focusing 80% of my energy on the wrong things. I didn’t have a vision for my home, and I was catering to my obsessive need for everything to be clean and tidy.

All the while, I was growing more distant from the Lord and my family.

Then I learned about the 80/20 principle, which states that 80% of outcomes come from just 20% of causes.

• Time management – 20% of your tasks produce 80% of your results.

• Parenting & Homemaking – 20% of your daily habits bring 80% of your peace and joy.

• Decluttering – 20% of your possessions are used 80% of the time.

So I asked myself: What 20% of my daily habits bring 80% of my peace, joy, and connection with God and my family?

And when I discovered the answer, everything changed.

The Shift That Changed Everything

Once I realized that most of my work was in vain because I wasn’t prioritizing the right things, I started shifting my focus. Instead of obsessing over a perfectly clean house, I prioritized relationship-building—pouring into my family and deepening my walk with the Lord.

And you know what? Everything else started falling into place.

It’s almost as if the Lord blessed this shift in my efforts. He expanded time to still allow me to get done what I needed in the home.

For example:

• As I grew closer to the Lord, I naturally made better choices in home management because I was in tune with the Holy Spirit.

• I began to notice opportunities to train and disciple my children instead of rushing through my to-do list.

• Instead of constantly feeling behind, I finally felt peaceful and present in my homemaking.

Putting discipleship first will bring you more peace and joy in your role.

Now, let’s break this down into different areas of our lives as homemakers.

1. Your Walk with God: What’s the 20% That Brings the Most Growth?

Instead of striving for hours of Bible study, focus on the 20% of habits that fuel 80% of your spiritual growth.

For me, that meant memorizing Scripture.

For the longest time, I resisted it. But then God kept introducing me to older Christian women who could recite Scripture effortlessly—and I knew that was something I wanted.

So I started using the Charlotte Mason Scripture Memory Method to organize the verses I was memorizing. I started small, reciting them daily while nursing my baby.

And then, one day, I realized—my son, who had just started talking, was finishing the verses as I recited them.

God’s Word never returns void.

This doesn’t mean Scripture memory needs to be your focus. Maybe:

• A Bible in a Year reading plan is most effective for you.

• You write Bible passages around your house so you see them daily.

• You keep a prayer board or prayer journal to stay rooted in God’s truth.

Determine what fuels your spiritual growth and free yourself from the guilt of “not doing enough.”

2. Parenting: The 20% of Moments That Shape Your Child’s Life

You don’t need to do it all to be a good mom. In fact, 80% of your kids’ most meaningful memories will come from just 20% of your time together—the moments when you’re fully present.

When I had my third baby, I couldn’t do all the activities and outings I used to. But God showed me that:

• Snuggling my daughter while nursing my baby meant more to her than a playdate.

• Making homeschooling fun mattered more than a perfect curriculum.

• Chasing my kids around the house was more impactful than any big event.

Instead of filling your schedule, focus on a few intentional, joyful moments—reading a book together, laughing at the dinner table, or snuggling before bed.

3. Relationships: The 20% That Brings You Peace

Not all relationships bring equal joy. 80% of your peace comes from just 20% of the people you invest in.

• Pour into deep, meaningful friendships instead of spreading yourself thin.

• Prioritize your marriage and close family over trying to please everyone.

• It’s okay to say no to draining commitments or relationships.

Even in my online ministry, my channel only grew when I narrowed my focus to Christian homemakers instead of speaking to everyone.

4. Rest: What Actually Renews You?

This one is huge. Television and social media will not bring you true rest.

20% of restful activities bring 80% of your renewal, so choose wisely.

For years, I thought rest was:

• Sleeping in

• Binge-watching Netflix

• Scrolling social media

But I was still exhausted.

Then I learned to rest the way God designed.

• Meditating on His Word

• Taking thoughts captive

• Renewing my mind

When I let the Lord redeem my mind, I found true rest.

5. Homemaking: Work Smarter, Not Harder

Did you know that very few habits actually contribute to the majority of how clean your home is?

Focus on the main living areas. If they’re tidy, your home will feel clean—even if your closets aren’t perfect!

When decluttering, most of the stress comes from a small percentage of items. For me, it was the kitchen and toys—so that’s where 80% of my decluttering efforts go.

This approach allows you to spend more time with your family and less time obsessing over every single area of your home.

The Takeaway

If you feel exhausted and overwhelmed, you don’t need to do more—you need to do less of the right things.

• Prioritize your walk with God in a way that truly fuels you.

• Be fully present for the small moments with your children.

• Pour into the relationships that truly bring you joy.

• Choose real rest instead of numbing out with distractions.

• Work smarter, not harder in your homemaking.

Which of these resonated with you most? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear what small change you’re focusing on first!

And if this encouraged you, join my free homemaking workshop using the link below. Let’s bring peace back into your home together.