How Social Media is Quietly Destroying Christian Mothers (And How to Reclaim Your Home and Family)

There is something quietly and powerfully shaping Christian mothers today—and not in a good way. Social media has become a dominant influence in our lives, often in ways we don’t even realize. As homemakers and mothers, we must be mindful of the ways it shapes our thoughts, priorities, and even our deepest desires.

I want to deinfluence you today—not from everything, but from the unhealthy ways social media is subtly pulling you away from the motherhood and homemaking life God has called you to.

Let’s talk about how and why social media is harming Christian mothers and, more importantly, how we can reclaim our homes and the hearts of our families even while living in a world where social media is a normal part of life.

The Motherhood We Imagined vs. The Reality Social Media Has Created

If you’re a millennial like me, you probably remember life before social media. Can you recall how you once pictured motherhood before Instagram, TikTok, and Pinterest existed?

I guarantee that image of motherhood looked completely different from how most of us live it now.

Many of the concepts we live by—often without even questioning—have been shaped by social media and media in general. Ideas like:

• “Try before you buy” when it comes to dating

• Going on vacation with a boyfriend before committing to marriage

• Sex before marriage being a normal part of relationships

• That a child needs extravagant experiences (like Disneyland) to have a magical childhood

• That children must be in endless activities to avoid a “boring” childhood

• That there’s even such a thing as a “boring” childhood

Even when it comes to parenting—breastfeeding, sleep training, co-sleeping—many of our decisions are shaped by what we’ve consumed online.

One of the biggest lies social media sells to mothers is that busy is better.

We’re told that unless our children are constantly occupied with activities, outings, and enrichment opportunities, we aren’t giving them the childhood they deserve. But this busyness culture leaves no room for rest or real connection with our families.

And then there’s the mom-shaming. Social media has created an environment where every parenting decision is up for debate, leaving mothers in a constant state of second-guessing. This confusion leads to stress, anxiety, and even anger—all because we’ve allowed strangers on the internet to shape how we view our own motherhood.

The False Sense of Connection

Social media gives the illusion of connection, but more often than not, it replaces real-life relationships.

Mothers today are lonelier than ever, yet we have more access to people than at any other time in history. We compare our real struggles to the polished, curated moments of other moms online, making us feel like we’re failing.

In many ways, social media has made it harder for women to seek real, in-person friendships. We convince ourselves that online connections are enough, but they can never fully satisfy the need for face-to-face community.

I’m not saying online spaces are all bad—after all, I run a Facebook group for homemakers where beautiful connections are formed. But these communities should complement, not replace, the real-life relationships God designed us for.

So why do we struggle to invite people into our homes for real, meaningful connection?

I suspect much of it comes from the insecurity we feel about how our homes, bodies, and children appear.

The Pressure to Fit an Aesthetic

We live in a world where many women don’t even know what they like anymore. Instead, we’re subconsciously adopting trends that social media tells us we should embrace.

Christian homemaker aesthetics. Crunchy mom aesthetics. Minimalist aesthetics. Every label comes with an unspoken list of what you should wear, how your home should look, and what products you should buy.

The result?

• Moms constantly chasing trends, spending money on things they don’t need

• Women feeling dissatisfied with their homes because they don’t look Pinterest-worthy

• Families burdened with debt from purchases meant to create a curated lifestyle

The cycle is exhausting.

Suzanne Venker once pointed out how many women want to stay home but feel they can’t afford it—not because it’s impossible, but because we live in an era of excess.

We are spending money on things our grandmothers wouldn’t have dreamed of buying. And the worst part? We don’t even realize how much of our spending is dictated by what social media has influenced us to believe we need.

But as Matthew 6:19 reminds us:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.”

As Christian women, we have so much more freedom than the world would have us believe. Our hope isn’t in things, aesthetics, or keeping up with trends. Our hope is in Christ.

The Influence You Don’t Realize You’re Under

Social media is designed to influence you. That’s its entire purpose.

Every time you open an app, you’re subconsciously filtering everything through the lens of who you aspire to be.

You’re looking for clues—how to behave, what to value, what to buy—to help you feel like you’re becoming the version of yourself you dream of being.

Social media algorithms exploit this natural longing. They know you crave a sense of arrival in life, and they feed you content designed to make you believe that a product, aesthetic, or lifestyle will bring you closer to that ideal.

But as Christian women, our identity isn’t found in trends. It’s found in Christ.

And when we lose sight of that, social media can quickly become destructive to our homes and our health.

The Hidden Cost of Social Media

Social media gives us small dopamine hits all day long—but each high comes with a crash.

Before you know it, you’re irritated, resentful, snapping at your family—and you don’t even connect it to the fact that you just saw something online that made you feel mom guilt, shame, or inadequacy.

Beyond that, social media robs us of precious time with our families. Constant scrolling pulls mothers away from engaging with their children. The never-ending stream of tragic world news adds to our already high mental load, leaving us overwhelmed and overstimulated.

And let’s not forget the comparison trap.

Comparison breeds jealousy, bitterness, and resentment—all of which can make you physically sick. The Bible warns against this over and over again.

It’s no wonder so many mothers feel discontent, exhausted, and overstimulated all the time.

Reclaiming Your Mind and Home

But we do have control over this.

We can choose to be intentional with our social media use.

Remember: Every time you go online, you are being influenced. Choose wisely.

Follow people who inspire you to be a better wife and mother. People who advance the Gospel and encourage you in your God-given role.

Unfollow everything else. It’s all just noise.

I walk my students through this very concept in my Transformed Homemakers Society course, helping them intentionally and biblically define the kind of homemaker they want to be. Because if we aren’t purposeful about shaping our minds, social media will shape them for us.

I’m so grateful for the women who have told me that my content has helped them embrace their role as a homemaker in a whole new way. That means the world to me, and I know that anything good I share comes straight from the Lord.

So let’s be intentional. Let’s be mindful of the influences we allow into our hearts and homes.

Our families deserve our presence—not our distracted, overstimulated, comparison-laden selves.

Let’s take back our homes, one intentional choice at a time.