The Peace That Comes From Letting Go of Control

There’s a peace that doesn’t come from fixing your life — it comes from finally letting go of control.

For a long time, I thought peace would show up after the chaos calmed down. Once the house stayed clean. Once I got more sleep. Once my kids stopped needing me so much. Once my husband and I had breathing room again.

But that kind of peace never came.

Because the truth is, God changes your heart long before He changes your circumstances. He changes you first within those circumstances.

If you’ve been walking through burnout as a Christian mother — that bone-deep kind that seeps into your faith, your patience, your joy — maybe your body feels tense all day, your mind can’t rest, and your heart is just tired — this might be the message you need today.

Because I know burnout comes from the weight of carrying more than you were meant to carry — the heaviness of grief, miscarriage, disappointment, strained marriages, chronic exhaustion, health trials. And I see you in that.

And I’ve also seen firsthand that God can turn your burnout into peace in a single day — not by changing your situation, but by transforming you in the middle of it.

Six Truths I’m Learning in the Middle of the Storm

I want to share something raw and recent with you today.

Because as I’m writing this, I’m walking through something that’s testing every part of what I say I believe.

And that’s exactly why I know this message is true.

Because I’m not speaking as someone who’s “arrived.” I’m speaking as someone who’s walking through the fire right now — and seeing God’s goodness in it.

1. God Changes Your Heart Before Your Circumstances

We pray for relief, but God gives us refinement. We pray for escape, but God offers endurance.

When I used to pray for peace, what I really wanted was escape.

Escape from exhaustion. From the noise. From the constant tension of motherhood.

But instead of removing the chaos — all those external factors that I thought were contributing to my burnout — God began reshaping my heart right in the middle of it. He changed me first.

Think of Hannah — praying through her heartbreak, still childless — yet God used that heartbreak to draw her into deeper faith and use the outcome for His glory.

Think of Job — stripped of everything, yet his heart grew in reverence long before his fortunes were restored.

And Paul, chained in a Roman prison, singing hymns through it all — peace came before freedom.

Peace doesn’t wait until things get better.

Peace shows up when you stop resisting what God is doing through these circumstances.

And that’s exactly what He did for me — starting in a place that looked nothing like peace at all.

2. Submit — and Resist the Urge to Resist Discomfort

Sometimes the doorway to blessing might be hidden in the very thing you’re resisting right now.

There was a mothers’ room at the Bible Study Fellowship I attended before we moved — a storage room for the church BSF was hosted in that mothers were asked to go to during lecture.

And honestly? I was so turned off by it.

It felt like moms with children were being treated like second-class citizens — as if our babies were too disruptive to belong in the sanctuary. It seemed so very un-pro-life.

This “mothers’ room” was really a glorified storage closet.

And I was offended by the whole setup and to be honest, my heart posture was that of a spoiled brat.

But over time, that room became the biggest blessing.

I met so many lovely Christian mothers — women who are now lifelong friends.

Every week, our cups were filled as we sat in that mothers’ room and talked about motherhood, marriage, and walking out our faith in this world.

Then, I moved.

The new BSF I attend does things differently — ironically, there’s no mothers’ room at all. Exactly what I had wished years prior about my previous setup.

Instead, mothers with squirmy, wormy infants had to stand in the hallway or wrangle their babies through the lecture inside the sanctuary.

And even knowing what I had learned before — that there is blessing in discomfort — I grumbled.

I resisted.

I lamented to my husband about how much I didn’t like it. How could they not have a mothers’ room? That’s so not pro-family. I said exactly the same thing but in reverse. I’d learned nothing.

I felt like the Israelites in the wilderness — rescued from Egypt, yet still complaining about the manna even when it was literally falling from the sky.

Finally, I came to my senses and submitted it to the Lord.

I told Him, “Okay — if this is how You want to shape me, I’m here for it.”

And wouldn’t you know, I’ve already started to see glimpses of the blessing.

For one thing, I’m actually able to sit in the lecture now — to listen to the message being taught each week live with all the other women.

When you stop fighting the discomfort and start surrendering to it, you’ll begin to see God’s fingerprints everywhere.

And that truth became even more real to me as I’ve been walking through something far heavier — something that changed my perspective completely.

3. Surrender Doesn’t Mean Apathy — It Means Trust

I’m currently walking through a miscarriage.

And even saying that out loud feels surreal.

There are moments that feel unbearably heavy — the physical pain, the emotional exhaustion, the mental spirals of why me, why now, why even allow me to get pregnant just to take it away?

Why do I have to go through this pain and don’t even get a baby on the other side? All these questions I have for God.

But I’ve learned that those thoughts don’t lead anywhere good. That kind of thinking — it never leads to fruit.

The only way out is through — and the only way through is surrender.

Surrender it to the Lord to see what He’s using this for.

While I was miscarrying — in the middle of the pain and grieving the life that didn’t get to stay — my husband walks out of the bathroom in my robe, towel wrapped around his head just like me when I get out of the shower, making this entire little performance with his French press coffee as he waltzed through the room, acting out this whole show for me — I’ll spare you the details.

But I laughed.

Even in the numbness, even in the heartbreak, I laughed. It was a glimpse of hope. It was the Lord’s grace for me in that moment.

It was like God was whispering, “I’m still here.”

Even when I felt like I was dying because a piece of me was dying — there was still light breaking through.

Surrender doesn’t erase the pain — but it does redeem it.

And that’s the heart of the next thing I want to share — because once you learn to surrender, you start to see your suffering differently.

4. Use Your Suffering to Reflect Christ — Not to Resemble the World

Turn to the world and it’ll help you numb your pain. Turn to Christ and He will redeem it.

When I look at this trial — even in the heartbreak — I keep asking:

“How can I use this suffering to bring glory to Christ?”

Because that’s what sets us apart as Christians.

Not that we avoid pain, but that we worship through it and ask, How can I use this suffering to distinguish myself as a Christian?

Not just to surrender, but to thank God in the middle of the surrender.

Because even in tragedy, He’s still worthy.

Anyone can be thankful when life is easy.

But when you can thank God while your heart breaks — when you can say, “You are still good and worthy of all my praise” — that’s when your faith becomes something that actually carries you through the fire.

Even now, I can thank God for perfectly orchestrating an entire universe and yet somehow still mindful of me — still caring that I have moments of joy and laughter through this trial.

And when you lift your eyes to that level of glory — gratitude begins to grow where despair used to live.

That’s the supernatural mark of a believer: not that we escape suffering, but that we praise Him through it.

That we can say, “Lord, You give and take away. Blessed be Your name.”

And when you reach that place — that deep surrender — something incredible begins to grow from it.

5. The Fruit of Submission Is Peace

When you choose prayer over panic, worship over worry, and obedience over resistance — you’re cultivating peace in your soul.

That’s what burnout really is: a soul at war with surrender.

And peace returns the moment you lay it all down.

I’ve experienced this again and again — in motherhood, in miscarriage, in marriage.

And I can tell you firsthand: God can change your life in a day.

Because peace isn’t earned — it’s received.

And when you finally receive that peace, it starts to change how you see everything — even the parts of you you thought would never hold peace, or joy again.

6. God Can Bring Beauty Out of Ashes

It’s not lost on me that I’m writing this in the middle of the very thing I would’ve begged God to take away.

But I don’t want to waste my pain.

I want this season — even this miscarriage — to glorify Him.

Because if Christ can take the cross — the most tragic moment in human history — and turn it into resurrection, then surely He can take this and make something beautiful.

Maybe not today.

Maybe not tomorrow.

But He will.

It’s what He does.

Letting Go Leads to Peace

This is the key to creating a peaceful, joyful home — even in the chaos of raising little ones, and even in seasons of loss.

So if you feel stuck in burnout — like peace is unattainable — it’s not too late.

You can feel calm, present, and at rest again, not because your circumstances change, but because your heart does.

And if you’re walking through something heavy right now, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

Let’s remind one another that peace isn’t found in perfection — it’s found in surrender.

Because God really can turn burnout into peace in a single day.

All it takes… is letting go.

If you’re ready to start that journey — to move from survival mode to peace-filled homemaking — I’d love to invite you to join my free workshop, From Survival Mode to Peace-Filled Homemaking in 7 Days.
In it, I walk step-by-step through the exact process the Lord used to bring peace back into my home and heart — even when nothing in my circumstances changed.