Finding Peace and Presence in Biblical Homemaking
You’ve heard it a thousand times: “The dishes can wait.”
It sounds so freeing, right? So very peaceful and whimsical. But let’s be real—the dishes can wait… until they can’t. Because the reality is… nobody is coming to do them for you, and suddenly your kitchen looks like a war zone, and you’re the one left picking up the pieces.
You’re told to cherish the little years because they’re gone in a flash, say yes more often, don’t sweat the mess because that’s not what you’ll remember, but then you’re drowning in laundry, overstimulated by the chaos, and feeling like you’re failing both in home management and cherishing these years.
Doesn’t it feel like no matter what you choose, you’re doing something wrong? If you prioritize connection—you feel guilty for neglecting your home. If you prioritize productivity—it feels like you’re neglecting your children.
And that endless back-and-forth tension leaves you overstimulated, exhausted, and feeling like a failure.
Is anybody doing it right? The answer is yes. But not all the time and not without help. Stay with me because I’ll explain.
The Real Tension Christian Moms Face
We’re diving into the real tension so many Christian moms face: serving your home well while also cherishing these fleeting years and fostering connection.
Here’s the thing: God doesn’t ask you to choose between order and presence, between stewarding your home and cherishing your children. He asks you to align both—using His wisdom.
Together, we will learn how to apply a biblically sound rhythm of service and connection so you can serve joyfully—not frantically.
And by the end, you’ll have 4 practical ways to foster deep connection with your family—without neglecting home management.
Maybe You’ve Been Believing a Lie
Maybe you’ve been believing that if you don’t say yes, your kids will miss out. But the truth is—when you’re exhausted, overstimulated, and resentful, they’re missing out already.
What they need most is not a “yes” to every activity, but a mom who is at peace.
There’s this counterfeit narrative in motherhood that says, “Say yes to everything or you’ll regret it later.” But this is an impossible standard—it makes moms feel like failures if they ever say no to contact naps, one more bedtime story, or spontaneous adventures.
A Story That Hits Home
I received this comment from a mother, and I know you will resonate with it:
“When I was a new mom I heard a lot of older moms saying to cherish the little moments because they go by so fast and they wish they’d been more chill and said yes more often to their kids. Now I feel a lot of pressure to let them be loud and messy and say yes to whatever they want as long as it only inconveniences me and isn’t hurting anyone else. But then I’m way overstimulated and I can’t get my household chores done. Is it my responsibility to let that all roll off my back and manage my emotions better or can I just say no if it makes my day crazy and overwhelmed?”
She went on to explain:
“We’re running late for lunch, I have everything set up on the table and my son asks to eat outside at the last second. I feel obligated to allow it, pack up all the food, and go outside. But now lunch takes 15 minutes longer, nap time is 30 minutes late, and the toddler is melting down. I feel selfish for saying no and keeping nap time on track.”
Saying “No” Can Be Holy
Scripture never commands mothers to indulge every request of their children. It commands us to steward our homes faithfully and to train our children in wisdom.
Saying no can actually be an act of love—because it teaches children that order and boundaries are part of God’s good design.
There’s this false guilt trap that tricks moms into believing love always looks like saying yes even when it’s inconvenient. But biblically, love also looks like discipline, order, and wisdom.
Proverbs 22:6 doesn’t say, “Give in to every request.” It says, “Train up a child in the way he should go.”
Recognizing the Tension Without Guilt
So many moms feel shame for not being “chill” enough—or for snapping after trying to be chill, only to be overwhelmed by the chaos that followed.
Listen, God wired us for order—He created the world with structure and rhythms. Yet He also designed us for relationship and joy.
The key is acknowledging the tension without self-judgment. Ask yourself: Am I feeling pressured by cultural ideals or by God’s Word?
Proverbs 31 shows a woman who works diligently but also laughs at the days to come—she’s confident, wise, and peaceful.
You won’t strike this balance perfectly on your own. You need wisdom from the Holy Spirit to navigate the daily push and pull between responsibilities and connection.
And here’s the good news: sometimes, you’ll get it wrong, and that’s okay too. God’s grace covers the missteps.
Practical Rhythm: The Thought Filter
When you feel that tension, try this filter:
- Does this decision honor stewardship over your home?
- Does this decision honor connection with your family?
If it honors one but sabotages the other—pause.
If it can hold both in balance—it’s probably the wise choice.
If you’re still confused, ask: How can I strike a balance or find compromise?
For example, in the lunchtime scenario, maybe the kids wanted something different. Instead of moving everything outside, say, “Hey! Let’s do a picnic inside today!”
You’re honoring your boundary while still establishing connection.
Pray for wisdom in these moments.
The False Divide
The enemy would love nothing more than to convince mothers that home tasks and family connection are competing priorities.
But Scripture shows they were never meant to be enemies—they were meant to belong together.
In Luke 10, Martha was busy with the work of serving while Mary sat at Jesus’ feet to connect with Him.
Jesus doesn’t condemn Martha’s work—serving is good and needed—but He reminds her that connection matters too.
The point isn’t that one is holy and the other is not. The point is that without connection, even good work can become the poor choice.
Why This Feels So Hard
Mothers rarely get adequate time to do either. You never feel like you’re working well or connecting well—just doing both in a half-hearted, fragmented way.
Someone in my community shared:
“Does anyone feel like their nervous system goes haywire when trying to do anything when anyone else is around? I can’t settle into a calm or focused state when doing Bible study or even meal planning if others are in the room.”
Your nervous system can react automatically to tasks and household demands, especially if it’s learned that others’ presence means interruption or extra work.
When this happens, your brain goes into fight-or-flight mode, making even small distractions feel overwhelming or even enraging.
The Need for a Reset
Most mothers don’t need more information. They need a reset.
They’re stuck in cycles of stress, overstimulation, and overwhelm.
When your nervous system is grounded, interruptions aren’t catastrophic. When your rhythms are strong, interruptions don’t derail your day.
You’re able to pause, connect, and respond with peace—just like Mary chose the “good portion.”
Four Practical Ways to Let the Dishes Wait
- Accept and Expect Interruptions
Settle it in your mind that interruptions will happen. When you expect them, they lose their power to frustrate you. - Fill Your Children’s Cups Early in the Day
Resist the urge to use quiet morning time for chores. Pour into your kids first—it often leads to longer independent play later. But don’t make it transactional; interruptions may still happen, and that’s okay. - Reframe Interruptions
Each interruption is an opportunity—to train your children in boundaries or to show them that connection matters more than tasks. Pray for wisdom to discern which is needed. - Have a Reset Plan When You’re Spiraling
Sometimes the holiest thing you can do in chaos is tickle your kids.
One mother shared: “When my house is chaos and I’m about to lose it, I drop everything, get on the floor, and start a tickle monster game. We all end up laughing and snuggling.”
That tiny moment resets both you and your children.
What If This Tension Is Actually Holy?
You will feel pulled between the dishes and the snuggles, your Bible time and the laundry, alone time with your husband and the endless to-do list.
But remember: sanctification requires tension.
This tension is shaping your heart, teaching you to prioritize wisely, and helping you grow in patience, presence, and discernment in everyday motherhood.
If you feel stuck in survival mode, there is a way out. You can feel calm, present, and in control again.
I’ve been there—and if you’d like to learn the exact process I used to go from daily drudgery to peaceful, joyful homemaking (even in the chaos), I’d love for you to join my free workshop, From Survival Mode to Peace-Filled Homemaking in 7 Days.
