When You Don’t Fit the Mold: 3 Truths for the Christian Mom Who Feels Out of Place

I was sitting in the mothers room at a Bible Study Fellowship lecture when the leader walked up to the podium and said something that made all of us moms stop talking and our jaws dropped. She said:

“You probably wouldn’t expect this from me—but I used to be completely different. I struggled with intense rage. And I have not one, but two sons who are gay.
By most standards, I’m not what you’d picture when you think of the ‘ideal Christian woman.’
And yet—maybe that’s exactly what qualifies me.
Because it’s in my brokenness, not my perfection, that Christ’s power is made perfect.”

Maybe you’ve felt this too.
Like you’re not Christian enough for the church moms—but too intense, maybe too “all in” for the casual Christians.
Like you take your faith seriously and yet, still don’t measure up.

You’re trying to raise your kids in truth, love your husband well, keep your home running smoothly—but maybe you weren’t raised in a Christian household, or you have an unbelieving husband, or some other thorn in your side making you feel like you don’t fit in as a Christian woman.

You’ve lost your temper. You’ve said things you regret.
Maybe your kids are struggling.
Maybe your marriage feels more like a battleground than a ministry.
Maybe you don’t have a “Christian testimony” that wraps up neatly with a bow.

But what if all of that is the exact thing God is using for His glory in your life?
What if your story, with all its mess, is what makes you the most relatable, the most usable, the most qualified in His hands?

That’s how it went for me. I thought I was a lost cause—my rage, anxiety, and the way I dreaded homemaking and motherhood. I assumed it would take years of striving to be even a sliver better than I was. But in the Lord’s infinite mercy, He transformed me swiftly and profoundly and used it all for His glory—and that’s what I share here.

Today I want to share 3 truths every Christian mom who doesn’t fit in needs to hear.
You’ll learn how to stop apologizing for your story, reframe your past with purpose, and embrace the kind of motherhood that doesn’t always match the Pinterest-perfect version—but bears actual fruit.

This is the exact system that helped me stop shrinking myself and finally walk in peace and clarity—even as a Christian mom who never quite fit the mold.

TRUTH #1: Your Past Doesn’t Disqualify You—It Qualifies You

The thing you’re most ashamed of might not be the thing holding you back.

It might be the very thing God is using to draw someone else in.

I used to watch all these Christian mothers who grew up in strong, faith-filled homes—women who had Scripture memorized before they could write their name and seemed to be thriving in motherhood and was so captivated by how naturally it all seemed to come to them. Just enamored by what it was like to grow up in a home that served the Lord in such a profound way.

And then there was me.
The one with more of a bootstrap walk with God. I didn’t inherit a strong faith easily—I had to wrestle for it. My journey wasn’t handed to me; I had to build it from the ground up.

Struggling with mom rage. Battling anxiety. Living with chronic illness.
I kept wondering—what am I doing wrong?
Why do some Christian mothers seem to float through this, while I’m fighting for peace every single day?

I love Jesus too.
So why do I feel like I just don’t fit in? Like I’m not good enough?

God loves using stories just like this that don’t seem to fit the mold to bring glory to His name. That’s the entire story of the Gospel.

I’ve realized through talking to a lot of Christian mothers, that we all are kind of feeling this way for one reason or another. We all have this sense of guilt, or shame. Kind of a back burner, always-present sense of guilt for sins we’ve committed, sins we’re struggling with even now or a past that doesn’t fit the mold.

And that can wreak havoc on your body and your mind. But God’s Word tells us in Hebrews 10, that we have been made holy through the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. That means all of us as believers.

But what about when it’s not just outsiders misunderstanding you—what about when the weight is coming from inside your own home?

TRUTH #2: Peace Isn’t a Personality—It’s a Person

If you think calm, gentle motherhood is for other women—you’re missing the whole point.

For years, I believed I just wasn’t “that kind of mom.”
The soft-spoken, gentle one. The peaceful one who never raises her voice.
I figured I wasn’t wired for that—I had anxiety, chronic pain, and a temper I hated.

But what I didn’t know then is that peace isn’t a personality trait.
It’s not something you’re born with or without.
It’s a fruit of the Spirit. And fruit only grows when the root is connected to the right source.

Scripture says Christ Himself is our peace.
So if you’re in Him, you have access to it—not just someday, not just when your hormones stabilize or your kids get a little older, but right now.
It won’t always feel effortless. But it is possible.
Because peace doesn’t start in your personality. It starts in your posture before God.

The beautiful thing is God isn’t asking you to carry this alone. He’s inviting you to renew your mind (Romans 12:2) and root your identity in Him, not in others.

That realization—the one that taught me peace wasn’t something I had to manufacture, but something I could abide in—changed everything.
And honestly? It wasn’t just one aha moment.
It was a complete reworking of the landscape of my mind.

TRUTH #3: You’re Not Too Much—You’re Just Not for Everyone

If you feel lonely in your convictions, you’re probably doing something right.

I remember sitting in a mom group once where everyone was laughing about how they “need wine just to survive their kids.”
And I just sat there thinking, whoa… this is a group of Christian women lamenting about how much they hate their role—not in a redemptive, hey let me help you out kind of way—but in a let’s escape the horrors of motherhood way.

And still, a part of me was tempted to just “fit in” and agree with them…

If you struggle with people-pleasing to the point of setting aside your own convictions so you can ‘fit in’—know that you’re not alone. But we have to name people-pleasing for what it is—a trap.

Proverbs 29:25 says, “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.”
When we live for the approval of others, we become slaves to their opinions. But when we live for the Lord, we walk in freedom—even if not everyone understands or agrees with us.

Some women don’t want to talk about sin, or holiness, or submission, or reverence or any of the things we are called to as Christian women.
They want easy answers, quick tips and tricks.

Say something about dying to self, honoring your husband, or choosing joy in suffering—and suddenly they look at you sideways.
Suddenly you’re “too intense.” “Too judgmental.” or “Over the top.”
It can make you feel like you’re the problem—even amongst believers.

But Jesus didn’t say the path would be comfortable—He said it would be narrow.

You’re not too much. You’re just not made for shallow soil.
Don’t shrink your faith to fit into rooms God never sent you to.
You don’t need to be palatable. You need to be faithful.

The Woman God Uses Isn’t Always the One Who Fits In

So maybe you don’t fit in.
Maybe your story is messy. Your convictions feel lonely. Your motherhood doesn’t match the highlight reels.

But that doesn’t make you the problem.
That might just make you the very kind of woman God is using to awaken hearts and stir His daughters to walk in truth.

Be her. Be that Christian woman in your moms groups, with your family, at the grocery store—wherever you are.

And if you feel like you’re stuck and you’d like a catalyst for transforming your whole home so you can feel calm, present, and in control again, I walk through it all inside the free workshop.